


bloodbath for crows

by inkyraindrops



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bloodlust, Bloodplay, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Drug Abuse, Dubious Consent, Happy New Whores, Knifeplay, M/M, Manipulative Relationship, Mild Fucky Dynamics, Obsession, Stuck In A Box Trope, emi dont actually read this oh my god, emi if ur reading this know that u brought this monster to life, i said id write a fic to spite antis and i fucking did so eat my ass 2020, said the author before making it full blown fucky, tom hardy im so sorry for misusing ur line for my porn fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:20:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28532793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkyraindrops/pseuds/inkyraindrops
Summary: Tobio melted against him like a doll, and Koushi pressed his lips to the crown of his hair, pulling him flush.“It’s better if it’s me, you know,” he said, fingers gently mapping the firm planes and bumps of his stomach, “we’re good for each other. Perfect, even. I’ve always been so proud of you. I don’t mind it if you take it out on me next time. If it’s you.”His kisses gathered to his temple, chaste and doting, “it’s always you.”---Trapped in a room with no means of escape, Kageyama is forced to bleed his heart out for Sugawara.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29
Collections: One-Shot Goldmine





	bloodbath for crows

**Author's Note:**

> this took long enough. if there was ever a kagesuga fan out there who wanted this relationship to be taken to the next level of hell, then this is for you homie. ur eating good tonight.

**_Sugawara Koushi, make Kageyama Tobio feel how violently you want him._ **

“There’s no use. You should give it up.”

  
  
“We haven’t tried all the weapons.”

  
  
“True. But if the door’s that hard to breach, they probably knew we’d try them out. You’ll just tire yourself out.”

  
  
“They?”

  
  
Koushi shrugged, flopping on the mattress and holding the paper up to his eyes again, “Whoever put us in here, I guess.” 

The words hadn’t changed since he woke up. The roof lights, low and warm, did not cast in any other mysterious annotations or code. The ink remained stuck on the thin paper, smooth in calligraphy and rotten in intention. The drug had worn off by now, but fireflies still burned his insides at the implications lying just below the black blotches.

  
  
“Is this some kind of sick joke?” he muttered.

There was a low metallic croak, then a soft clang on the floor, near the foot of the bed. Likely the cleaver having its turn used up. Koushi glanced to his right.

  
  
“Do you think this is one of those prank shows?” Kageyama asked, eyes squinting and fingers running over the wall ledge. Tools discarded on the drawer and ground recklessly, he has abandoned his attempts to break into the door, instead tiptoeing along the edge of a black cabinet he pulled up against it. His neck craned up towards the ceiling, his face scrunched up. He looked dumb like that. Cute.

  
  
“Not really. This room is too weird for a prank, what with the blades and all that. They are aware of our habits, though. I’ll give them that.” 

Kageyama frowned, “You like knives?”

“... you could say that, yes.”

He’d rather be a knife collector, in all honesty.

When Koushi had woken up, still curled up in his school uniform, he had been sinking into soft, thick blankets that hugged his figure like an old friend. Thoughts cloudy, it had taken him more than a minute for the mess of black hair at his side to register in. It took him even longer to figure out the bundle’s name, and that his covers weren’t meant to be black and white. Then the room cleared up. Surrounded by drawers, nets and hooks stacked with weapons and medical equipment, he’d considered poking himself up to see if his limbs were still his. 

Curiously, he had then taken notice of an envelope tacked on a dark door facing the bed. There had been no doorknob, or keypad, or any noticeable lock on it, really. Its surface had been cold against his fingertips, a stark contrast to the strange warmth the room exuded, with its velvet walls, luscious bed covers, and low golden lights. This place breathed luxury and intimacy, unsettling against his humble upbringing. With Kageyama still asleep then, he had all the time in the world to tear through the drawers on each side on the room, punch and kick the door, pinch himself, realize he wasn’t hallucinating, and finally string up a line of curses Yaku would be proud of. 

But what did it to Koushi hadn’t been the message, or its implied threats and stalking.

It had been the calm and easy consideration he’d taken the order in, and the tools it had given him. It had been their appliance on Kageyama, vivid, without hesitation, and methodical in his mind. It had been the smile stretching his cheeks a little too tightly.

He hadn’t realized its presence until it slipped off of him.

He’d have taken being a collector of weird, possibly cursed, knives any day. At best, it was embarrassing. At worst… well, Koushi knew how to love someone right. He did. It would just be a bit of a hassle to not overwhelm him too quickly. Kageyama, at least, seemed to take that idea at face value, judging by the curious look he was giving him.  
  


“There’s nothing wrong with collecting knives,” Kageyama said, “or playing volleyball.”

  
  
Koushi hummed with a pressed smile. His gaze landed back on the message, then leapt to the daggers; needle points, hunting knives, switchblades. All researched by him, most bookmarked. They varied in the swooping curves trailing the handles, the patterns adorning it, the blade’s material, teeth and edge. Sterilized for sure. They were all beautiful. Obscene in quantity and quality. The room’s purpose was more than obvious. There was even rope, leather clasps, cloth and cuffs attached to the hook next to them.

  
  
“I don’t get why there wouldn’t be anything volleyball related too though,” Kageyama grumbled, and _of_ _course_ it would fly over his head.

  
  
“They probably heard that, you know,” Koushi said, grinning a little when Kageyama just glared harder at the ceiling in reply.

  
  
Kageyama stepped off of the dresser, not short of a disdainful shove at it as he did. His eyes settled on the paper in Koushi’s hands and his jaw visibly clenched. Koushi only offered him an apologetic shrug of the shoulders.

“There isn’t anything else I can find on it, sorry,” he said. 

Instead of answering, Kageyama just walked over and plopped down at his side, peering over at it. Koushi carefully leaned away, and kept his gaze trained solely on the message and the mix of focus and frustration colouring Kageyama’s expression. He could hear his foot tap against the floor furiously.

“I don’t get it,” he said after a beat of silence. 

Koushi knocked his foot with his own, ”Kageyama-kun, it’s fine. I’m sure they wouldn’t have put a door in here if they wanted us trapped forever.”

_Not that I would mind it._

Kageyama’s brows furrowed, “But didn’t you say that-”

“I said that weapons wouldn’t work. Not that it’s impossible. We’re here because they want us to find a way out.”

Kageyama’s gaze flickered between the paper and Koushi, before falling back on the carpet. The knots in Koushi’s insides tightened in response. Was he making him nervous? _Hopefully_. He forced his shoulders to drop, and leaned into Kageyama’s field of vision.

“Kageyama-”

“Starve ourselves,” he suddenly quipped out.

Koushi’s mind blanked, “What?”

Kageyama wrung his fingers together, not looking at him, “Maybe if we starved ourselves-”

“No,” he said flatly.

“It’ll work.”

“I’m not letting you starve yourself.” 

_Hypocrite, much?_

No, that was different.

“People have done it before.” 

“That’s different. There were other factors. It wasn’t about some stupid escape room deal.” 

“We can make it work.” 

“They’d probably get a kick out of it, you know.” 

“We just have to make sure they don’t notice. Just.” Kageyama chewed on his lip, “well. Details-” 

Koushi was _not_ thinking of biting that lip, “If we get starved, they’ll let us, and when we faint, somebody will come over and nourish us and then we’ll be back to square one. Kageyama-kun, you want that?”

  
  
Kageyama deflated and shot what could have been a glare, “You shouldn’t be picky,” he mumbled.

  
  
“It’s not picky if the idea was dumb in the first place,” Koushi bumped their shoulders together.

“... you got any better idea?” 

“Work in progress,” Koushi lied, “but we’re not putting your life at risk, okay?” 

Kageyama just huffed and jutted his chin up. Koushi knew he was just anxious.

_And who’s fault is that?_

The thought dripped cold mist all over him. Kageyama’s fingertips would probably leave tiny burn marks on his wrist. He dragged himself away from the latter, taking his place at the drawer. 

For the first one to his left, carefully arranged on placeholders, syringes of different size and shape were piled side by side. Right next to them, needles, then vials, some filled with liquid, labelled with various drug titles, categories, and instructions, while others remained empty. Below them, alcohol, antibiotic bottles, towels, stitches and gauze. In the last drawer, barbed leather gloves, copper whips, lube, candles and a few matchboxes. A chainsaw. He shot a glare at the last one.

He picked up a needle along with a few vials, focused on the ones labelled as anesthetics and muscle relaxants. Kageyama’s gaze drew holes into his back, curious and careful, but he didn’t heed to it, holding one vial up to his eyes while he slipped the needle between the other’s cap and lid, soaking it.

“I don’t want to kill you.” 

Koushi switched to another vial, labelled a nerve blocker, “What makes you think that’ll happen?” 

“Why else would all of this be here?” he could picture Kageyama gesturing angrily at the room, “if it isnt to escape, then...” 

He gave off a short chuckle, “I’m not going to kill you, Kageyama-kun. Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“I know. I just don’t want to scare you.” 

Koushi thought back to a starry-eyed Kageyama reaching febrile hands towards the alley cats near Ukai’s shop. He smiled, stashing the muscle relaxant in his inner uniform pocket, out of sight, “Do you really think so low of your senpai?”

  
  
“No, I-”

  
  
“There’s literally nothing scary about you, Kageyama-kun.”

“But-.”

“Don’t let Asahi rub off on you like that, yeah?”

“... right.”

“Are we on the same page here?”

“Yes.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You agree that you’d probably stab yourself _for_ me?”

“Yeah- wait, hey! That’s not-”

“I’m right though.”

Koushi’s grin stretched thin while Kageyama grumbled out his indignation, the vials heavy on his palms and the memories of December fever chills heavier on his stomach. 

He didn’t lie to Kageyama. He’d never do something like that maliciously. There were probably other means of escape that didn’t require pulling out dead skeletons from Koushi’s mind. 

Except.

“Kageyama.”

Except this room could be a dream.

  
  
He cleared his throat, “Kageyama. come closer.” 

Dreams weren’t meant to be remembered.

He could convince Kageyama that this was a dream.

There would be no need to put his life at risk when Koushi would be in control of it.

No answer. Muted shuffles. He took his time to place the vials back where they were, paying attention to their order. Types of drugs, types of use, time of reaction, duration of reaction, maintenance, reversal agents. He carefully shut the drawer, blew hot air into numb fingers, letting the warm tingles run through him, then turned to meet Kageyama’s wide, expecting eyes. 

He shoved both his hands and anxiety in his pockets, “Tell me what you see in me.” 

Kageyama’s answer was surprisingly swift, “A helpful senpai. responsible, takes care of his teammates and gives good insight on our opponents. Kind.” 

A pause, “Nice. really… nice.”

Murmured, “Comforting.” 

“Cool. a nice... friend.”

_(Dreams laced with nicotine.)_

Of fucking course.

Koushi pursed his lips, fingers curling into a fist, and considered smacking him, “Okay, okay, enough, you’re trying too hard again. Don’t be embarrassing.” 

“You asked for my thoughts, Sugawara-san.”

Koushi’s eye twitched. Heat surged through his skin.

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“You really trust me that much?” 

“Yes,” Kageyama at least had the gall to look a little shy about his own words. 

Koushi groaned, lolling back and forth before dropping against Kageyama’s chest with a huff.

“You’re way too open. That’s gonna cause you problems in the future.” 

“I’ll manage them,” Laughter drowned in Koushi’s throat. Kageyama could bear anything if it was mean to his goal. It was annoying.

“That’s not the issue.”

An exasperated sigh, “Then what is?”

“That you can take on the trouble I’m gonna cause you.” 

“... I don’t understand.” 

Koushi slumped further against him. 

“Please don’t play into this, Kageyama.”

“I’m not, you’re just not making sense!”

“You _read_ the paper, Kageyama. I _saw_ your face. You know _exactly_ what this is about. We both know that you’re more than dear to me,” Kageyama’s heart didn’t skip. His skin did, however, get goosebumps at his touch, fingers tracing feather light circles along his wrist. Or maybe skittering like ants.

He raised his head, only allowing a few inches of space between them. The lights almost seemed to dim then, shadows growing colder, thicker and longer than they already were.

“Probably more than you want me, right?” A fair option. Just not the one he wants.

Kageyama’s brows pinched hard together, and he scanned over Koushi’s face, “You- I’m not sure I get it, but are you...” 

“Yes. Listen carefully, okay?” Koushi stared at his shoulder for a moment, insects buzzing in his head, before leaning closer, capturing his eyes with his own, “You read the instructions. I have feelings for you. I... I like you a lot. More than a lot. I’m in love with you, Kageyama.”

The insects buzzed louder.

Kageyama’s lips parted, eyes barely widening. They were a pretty blue, inky, pure and royal. His shoulders bunched up but he didn’t retreat into them. Koushi caught a hint of melon in his breath and swallowed, trying to not let too many flies escape his own.

“I wouldn’t have confessed to you like this, to be honest. Or at all, really. I think,” he laughed emptily, rocking on his heels, “but, uh, well, those who put us here want a show.”

“A show,” Kageyama repeated slowly, softly, unblinking. 

“Yep. Like you, though, they don’t really like liars,” he chuckled, “would be kind of boring now, wouldn’t it? And I wouldn’t either way. Lie, that is. You see me as a friend. I can’t do that.” 

“So, I’m in love with you, Kageyama.”  
  
“I love you as much as I want to take a knife and stab you,” Kageyama stiffened, expression frozen, “you’re... talented. Gorgeous. Always striving to get better. So focused. You may be closed up, but you stay so earnest and pure of heart.” 

“It makes me _hungry._ And I’d take it. I’d devour it if I could,” it would most certainly taste just as sweet.

“But those people wouldn’t want you dead,” he paused for a time, “probably. I hope. And neither do I.” 

“At the very least, they want you tied up. Gagged. In pain. Cut up everywhere and bleeding all over the place. Because I need you like that.” 

He leaned closer, “Helpless. Desperate. Beautiful. All to myself.”

Despite the easy slip of his words, Kageyama’s expression remained locked into a blank slate. It felt wrong.  
  


Koushi’s lips twisted, and his knee jammed itself into Kageyama’s abdomen, pushing him right back on the mattress with a soft noise of surprise. He only managed to scramble back on his elbows, almost sitting, when Koushi pressed a hand at his side and a knee between his legs, half-hovering over him. All things considered, this was hardly dramatic. It was a simple confession. At least, something seemed to be finally breaking through Kageyama’s hard shock. Rightfully, enough anger to knock him out. But, if he was lucky...

“Nobody’s ever made me feel this intensely before,” he said quietly, staring into Kageyama’s eyes, “or so desperately. I’m not sure why either,” he did know why. Or at least, he had a few clues. 

All he could picture were the December days he’d spent cooped up in his bed, feverish sick and murder happy. Kageyama had floated through that haze like an angel, _cute_ and _talented_ and _easy_ and so _perfect_ he had wanted nothing more than to tear his wings apart with his teeth. One of the many pipe dreams that had ridden his sleep then. Blurry photographs of who he could never be. Not useful, but rather selfish. With no strings attached, there had been a raw fire there that he couldn’t touch in his waking hours, hellish and untamed but oh so wanted. Something he could see in everyone but himself. Kageyama’s voice had been melodious, low, soft and unheard of while he gave him instructions and little stories from club activities. Koushi mostly fell asleep to them.

That same soft voice now whimpering, begging, from a locked closet, for his ears only. Matches that singed skin while he murmured _Tobio_ into blackened skin like a prayer. Bruises that bloomed like roses under moonlight. Screams that rang like moans and hungry kisses that tasted of scorching copper. A dark haired boy’s face runny with tears, cries for help strangled, while he fucked him senseless and drove needles up his heart and wanted so madly that _human_ wasn’t a fitting word anymore. 

More than once he’d woken up sighing, head pounding, midnight skies peering down with worry and not the pure, unadultured terror he dreamt in them. He never noticed the sticky thighs and sheets.

It had struck him then that he was crushing on Kageyama.

Maybe the dispassionate future reserved for someone like Koushi got to him. Or maybe he watched and held and thought of Kageyama for so long, quietly, not wishing to hinder, but hunger drawing him in like moth to a flame. His muddled feelings now entrenched in a way that he couldn’t possibly run away, go back to anything but Kageyama’s alien skills and solitary words. It would be so much easier to think and be practical if he could just. 

_Breathe him. Keep him._

But Sugawara Koushi was not a selfish person.

He hadn’t been proud.

But the dreams only grew more frequent. Until he dreamt awake.

“I can’t keep you out of my head, you can too easily, and they know that,” he breathed, brittle vines in his throat, “do you understand what’s going on now? What they want from us? What I have to do?” Koushi drew his free hand to cup his cheek, letting his thumb caress it in what he hoped was kind. Comforting. His skin was softer than he thought. Easier to break.

Kageyama’s eyes darted between the hand against his cheek, the hand at his hip, the mattress and the door, chest heaving and dropping. His throat bobbed. The sheets rustled from his grip. 

“That...” the words were mangled, upper lip jutting out sweetly and breath catching with his own, “I thought- I had a thought. A feeling. But I didn’t think, or _want-_ ”

A beat of silence. His lip wobbled.

“This can’t be it,” Kageyama’s voice was small, “you’re lying.”

He made to shift back. Then subtly flinched. Kageyama’s eyes remained away from Koushi’s face, instead glued on the vice grip holding his wrist down.

“You’re lying,” he repeated, weaker.

“You know I would never lie to you. You’re my kouhai.”

_My adorably helpless kouhai. So cute I could screw the life out of you._

“They made you say it,” even as Koushi leaned closer, drawing his other knee up, Kageyama’s gaze strayed further away. 

“We’re in a red room, I believe. As disgusting as it is that our audience is probably made of serial killers, I can at least be honest about how much I need this,” he whispered, careful to keep his tone light. His gaze dropped to what’s between his index and major, thumb still stroking soft, burning skin. His heart raced faster than his stomach could lurch.

Kageyama shook his head, ignoring the bare inch of air between them.

“You’d never do something like this. They made you say it. You don’t have to do this, so cut it out already,” he hissed.

He looked up with wide, fearful eyes, “Please.”

_Ah._

“Okay,” he murmured, starstruck.

The needle sank easily into his neck. Kageyama blanched and Koushi’s heart fluttered.

“Wha-” he choked out, hand flying to where the needle stood. However realization dawned before his fingertips found their target, and a myriad of emotions flickered across his face. No disgust. His mouth fell agap.

“You drugged me,” he said, almost like a question, wide wild eyes staring into his own. The needle fell out, a small splotch of dark red leaking out. Koushi stared at it, gently grasping at Kageyama’s free wrist and watching the splotch grow into a dribble.

“You should listen next time. I need this. I’m protecting you,” his voice sounded far away. Kageyama writhed in his grip, “stop pulling.”

He faltered, almost pausing for a moment. Koushi felt a knife tug at his smile, gaze slipping back up.

“Good boy,” he purred, ghosting his lips against Kageyama’s. His expression scrunched up, halfway between anger and hurt, and he sharply tugged away in response, legs kicking up. He pushed against Koushi’s chest with his feet, trying to free his wrists, and with a soft _oomph,_ the latter skirted his body to the side. He made an attempt to go behind but Kageyama tugged back and he fell forward. Koushi used the opportunity to push Kageyama off the bed and onto the floor, smiling in apology while Kageyama snarled.

“What are you trying to do?” he chirped, pining Kageyama’s wrists above his head while he straddled him, “escape? Escape where?”

Kageyama pinned him to the ceiling with an icy glare and wrestled against him, flying up to push Koushi back against the side of the bed while he drove himself up against the corner of the room, a space between the bed, the wall and one of the drawers. He grabbed onto the wall’s leafen carvings, leaning on his knees. Pink dusted his nose and cheeks. Cute.

“Don’t touch me,” he spat out shakily. Guiltily. 

Koushi grinned without humour, head slumping forward, “or what?” he drawled.

He glanced at the cabinet next to him, and the rope and wrist cuffs hanging above it. Then back to Kageyama. He was staring at Koushi, not with the hatred he expected, but anticipation. Confusion. He still believed that Koushi was doing this against his will. A bitter blessing. He got up to his feet, stepping forth towards the drawer. From the corner of his eye, Kageyama slumped to his knees with shallow breaths, eyes never moving away from him. Hopefully, the tranquilizer wasn’t potent enough to stop lungs from functioning.

As soon as he touched the wrist cuffs, Kageyama spoke back up, voice low and pulled taut, “I thought you said that you didn’t do murder,” he hauled the loop of rope on his shoulder, swinging the wrist cuffs around his fingers. It clinged clear and clean.

“I don’t,” he replied, “doesn’t mean the thought isn’t enticing, or that skirting the edge of it isn’t impossible.” 

“And either way,” he turned to him, smiling with derision, “I thought you trusted me.”

The reaction was immediate. Kageyama’s eyes widened, expression sprung up with that precious desire to please, to do good, but his mouth fluttered with words held back.

Koushi took a step closer, “Don’t you?”

“I-I do but-”

“Then this shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

Kageyama’s brows further knitted together, “The command is lying to you, even an idiot can see through that.”

“It’d hurt less if it did. I told you that they want to cause pain now, didn’t I?”

“There’s no way you can be so sure of that!”

“Well, for one, I’m not selfish like you, Kageyama-kun,” his expression skipped like a needle.

“You-”

“-want to get out, correct?” Koushi finished. He took another step, socks silent against the cushy carpet.

“That’s-” his voice faltered, “that’s not how it works!”

“It is,” he said, “there’s no way around this.”

“Then we just have to break the rules! Simple!” deer eyes on him, rabbit panic on the door.

“Kageyama-kun,” he said, sticking to chidding, “please, we can’t get out of here that easily. I like your enthusiasm, it’s adorable, but we’re not on the court. You still have to cooperate.”

“Cooperate with who?!”

“Me.”

“You mean them.”

“Not at all. You’re stalling,” he noted, cocking his head to the side. 

“And you’re not thinking right!” Kageyama barked, sluggish limbs tangling themselves in their retreat, “you’re- this is useless. Sugawara-san, they’re lying! Why them?!” 

_Why not me?_

Koushi took another step forward, standing tall above the black ball that was Kageyama, catlike eyes peering up wearily. Spidery limbs stuck closer, knuckles pale but muscles lax. He wasn’t shaking.

He kneeled in front of Kageyama, gently setting the cuffs down at his heels. The rope was a velvety red, long, sturdy and rough at touch, but not too thick. Unraveling it was easy and as soon as it joined the floor, his fingers found themselves carefully latched upon Kageyama’s sharp jawline, thumb pads stroking firm skin. It burned at the touch and he could almost feel them against his lips. Too much was on the way, however, too many layers of clothing, words and thoughts. But Kageyama was still, eyes blown wide. Koushi peeked down at his wobbly pout, chapstick shiny, and shuffled closer.

“Kageyama, I like you, I trust you. But I care about you too,” he could taste the overwhelming sugar slipping out of his tongue. Could Kageyama taste it too? Koushi’s limbs were slipping between his.

“You just said that-” he shuffled closer. 

“-I care about you more than anything.” closer.

“No, _no_ ,” Koushi breathed a sigh against his temple, fingers toying at the buttons of the gakuran, “you’re overthinking again,” Kageyama’s voice, delightfully rough and small and warm against his ear, “Sugawara-san, _Sugawara-san_ , don’t be stupid, you’re gonna hurt yourself, _please-_ ” Kageyama’s body was warm against his icy one. Heat gathered at the bottom of his guts. Burn marks rested against his forearm, too gentle to push him off his lap. Fireflies in his head, thrumming high and needy. 

The buttons fell out of their placehold with no protest, collar pushed away in favour of slow, delicate kisses taking their stead on a smooth neck. A pulse jumped against his mouth and he almost bit into it. Hints of musk ghosted across his nose. His gaze fluttered shut for a moment. He let his tongue gently lap at the blood dripping from the curve of his neck, the tease of copper sliding down his throat, his mind greedy for more. Kageyama’s grip tightened, but his name fell off dull and drowsy. Lips snaked up his Adam apple, along his jaw and right below his left ear, while more buttons tumbled out of place, fingers insisting on both his jacket and shirt. His knees drew past Kageyama’s hips, firmly wounding their bodies together. 

“I’ll keep you safe, it’ll be okay,” he crooned, “I love you so much Kageyama, I love you, I love you-” 

“Then stop touching me, _please._ ” 

“Or maybe you shouldn’t keep being afraid of your senpai, hm? Don’t you love me too?” he whispered against his cheek, “isn’t this just a pit stop for you, Kageyama?” he brushed his lips at the corner of Kageyama’s mouth, gaze drifting up. Blue eyes looked off to the side. A harsh huff through the nose. Koushi brushed his own against Kageyama’s. Eyelids screwed themselves shut.

“Kageyama.”

No response.

_“Tobio,”_ he purred against his mouth, stretching each vowel out.

A shaky breath parted out of his mouth, “Don’t.”

Light sweetness wafted through and the grip on his shirt tightened, “Then look. Trust me. Stay.”

“Nothing to be afraid of, right?” he murmured, capturing his breath with a more firm kiss.

Tobio made a small noise in response, almost a whine and Koushi’s fiddling fingers trembled, heat flaring below him again. He didn’t wait to deepen the kiss, craning his neck up and prying his lips open without effort, gently slotting his lips and tongue in. Tobio tasted of spring sweets, lips coated with vanilla chapstick, and he took his time savouring him, keeping his kisses languid. Koushi hadn’t done this with anyone that mattered up until now. His heart hammered against his ribcage. No way would he let Tobio’s first kiss be anything but worthwhile, genuine, not when he’s waited for so long to get even a taste of him. 

With half-open eyes, he had view of Tobio’s face flushing to a lovely shade of sakura petal against his touch, body relaxed in his embrace. Tobio didn’t answer back, but didn’t struggle away from him either. If anything, he even slumped forward against him, as if resigning, and he could almost believe it. Koushi smiled against his mouth, then nipped at his lips in reward. He could make do with that. For what it was worth, there was no doubt on his mind that Tobio was receptive to his fondness and affection. 

Buttons undone, Koushi drew its sleeves down Tobio’s arms, not quite tugging it off. Hesitant fingertips fell at his waist, nudging and still oh so endearingly polite against him. Drooping eyes peered out at him.

“Can’t move,” Tobio croaked. Koushi lapped at his bottom lip in response.

“It’s okay, let me handle it. It probably won’t stick around too long.”

He kissed his cheek, rolled his mouth along the hollow of his throat, wrestled with the buckle of his belt, then the hook of his zipper. Tobio’s soft breaths shortened for a beat, wavered in his ear, the beginning of his name cut short. The swarm weighing on Koushi stilled. His finger traced at the rim of the boxers lying just below, teasing at the rubber band. That same soft breath stifled, something bubbling and sizzling underneath tranquil water. Maybe with enough effort, he could break something out of its surface. 

A shudder declared itself when he drew away from Tobio’s warmth, fingers shamelessly lingering and trailing across the front of his pants, and the bulge flaring underneath it. With a swipe of his tongue, Koushi could still taste milky melon on his lips. 

Tobio rose his head up in a drowse, and stared through the rope in Koushi’s hands.

“It’s for caution,” Koushi said, tugging the workings around his calves, “you can let me take care of you, yeah?”

Tobio blinked sluggishly. His eyes narrowed with something else entirely. A moment passed in patient silence. Then another. He could catch the first of something attempting to tumble out. Another beat passed. Tobio was never particularly skilled in this. He could coax something out, but it was sweet watching him try so hard for him.

Then, too faint for anyone but him to hear, “No, no, that’s not… that’s not it. You... shouldn’t have done that. Drug me.” 

“You’re Sugawara-san,” 

He paused. Koushi fully raised his head. 

Something seemed to dawn on him. 

“Why… why would someone…”

“You-”

Koushi's smile never faltered, “It numbs pain. It’s safer like that.”

Fickle clarity shrunk into a glaze. 

“No… that…”

“It isn’t you.”

“You… you’re _trying_ to…”

His face pulled into itself for a second, almost like he wanted to-

It fell loose.

“Right,” he said, quiet and toneless.

“You’re still... Sugawara.”

“I don’t… I can’t do that to you.”

His smile grew pointed.

“Do what?” he asked, fastening loops along each other. Hopefully, the rope would chaffe enough to leave a trace. 

“Hurt you,” 

Sugawara sharply snapped the workings up and glanced back up, meeting dark pupils. The blue and black blended together, glassy. No glower, but still honest. He smiled a bit.

“You already did though,” Tobio’s breath stilled in the following quiet, “I’ll be fine. If this is all I can get, then it’s no worry.”

He smiled a little wider, wrapping rope around his legs as he would a gift.

“Just let me get closer to you, okay? It’ll be alright now.”

Tobio didn’t glare. He didn’t frown. But his chin tipped down after a long moment, as his gaze did. Koushi only reached over to ruffle his hair. 

That was alright with him. Tobio wouldn’t remember morning come. Well, if it was night. Until then, Koushi was selfish, free, much more free than he’s ever been in his whole life. Shouldn’t he be happy for his senpai? It was romantic, and only a given to express himself when Tobio has been nothing but heartfelt with him. He had no intention of stopping the freight train now.

With the knots secured neatly, he grabbed for the cuffs. Neither of them were apologetic past niceties, so Tobio remained quiet, and that was fine. The locks clicking into place reassured him so.

Pulling away, Koushi admired the result of his handiwork. At the sleeves slipped down past Tobio’s now naked shoulders, the slacks crumpled below his hips, the tied up legs, and the wrists bound behind his back. His body slumped against the wall, flushed pink, eyelashes fluttering. Koushi’s own face grew warm at the sight. His heart pounded against his ribcage, and his pants turned stiff. Tobio was beautiful. Lurking below all that perfection, there he was, a boy who cried lonely. And there came Koushi: a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Koushi swallowed and shot up to his feet, walking on feverish limbs towards the blades stacked onto the wall, and picking the first one to catch his attention. Double edged needle point, gold-inlaid, the spine of a dragon etched onto the blade and wrapping itself at the base of the hilt. In the back of his head, hazy thoughts about major blood artery positions floated about. Koushi cast the dagger onto the bed, and wondered how deeply the incisions needed to be in order to reach them. 

Stepping back into Tobio’s vicinity, a stray thought mused about the possibility of cutting into one.

Warmth flooded him at once when he hoisted him off the ground. Tobio had a lean body dense with strength, but despite that, it barely took him a few seconds to carry and lie him onto the mattress. Koushi’s arms hardly stung. He looked prettier among the black covers, the velvet of the rope stark against the dark sheets. It was almost like watching a child sleep. The dagger glinted near the back of Tobio’s head, and Koushi kept it as such while he discarded his own jacket and hauled him to his knees. 

Tobio melted against him like a doll, and Koushi pressed his lips to the crown of his hair, pulling him flush. 

“It’s better if it’s me, you know,” he said, fingers gently mapping the firm planes and bumps of his stomach, “we’re good for each other. Perfect, even. I’ve always been so proud of you. I don’t mind it if you take it out on me next time. If it’s you.”

His kisses gathered to his temple, chaste and doting, “it’s always you.”

Only shaky breaths replied back, cuffs clicking against one another. Not anything to mop over, what with Tobio’s entire body twitching against his nipple being pinched and toyed with. Anxious clinking followed his ministrations, retreating, but Koushi only drew himself closer, closing the gap between twitching hands and the throb in his pants. Another shudder and knuckles brushed against it, firmly.

Koushi jerked into the burn of both palms, teeth scraping harder against Tobio’s skin. Both their breaths hitched at the same time. 

“It’s you,” he said again, low. 

His hips rolled up right as another hand dipped down, past taut muscle and belt clasps, skimming, grasping then fondling at the lump pushing through Tobio’s boxers. Tobio’s body quivered right as Koushi’s heated up with need. 

He shushed him, “you’re with me. You’re better off with me than with anyone else, Tobio.”

A choked gasp came through his ear. He sighed, both in pleasure and exasperation, before giving more purpose to his movements, warmth swelling in his stomach. 

“Relax,” he said, “you think anyone else would be honest with you, here?”

Tobio’s defiant gaze weighed heavy, but so did the way he bucked against Koushi’s hands.

“Hi-” he knew where this was going, “Hinata-”

“You think Hinata wouldn’t be angry at you?” he grinded the heel of his palm against the base of his cock, rubbing the damp fabric against pulsing skin, pinching at his nipple and smiling with Tobio’s flinch.

“He doesn’t listen. He won’t do well being stuck here, ordered around, and with you of all people, at that,” his breath fanned across his throat and he peered at the moisture gathering on hot skin. The memory of copper made his mouth water.

“Too volatile. He’s too hungry for you, you’ll never get out of here,” Tobio might have bore his teeth then, might have growled if sedation didn’t make him whimper instead. Koushi, amused, slid his fingers up along the waistband, then under, crawling in to give the now hard length below the same care he echoed against Tobio’s own pretty hands. 

A heave fell off his lips and his head dangled to this side, eyes squeezed shut. His name, once, twice, neither Hinata’s, stuttered timidly, _Suga, hah, Sugawara-san, no,_ as if confessing to a need, a sin, and something vicious tore its claws in him, hissing _he deserves it he’s mine he deserves it he’s mine he’s mine mine mine mINE-_

“Tobio, Tobio,” thoughts racing, he licked his lips, tracing the sharp edges of his jawline with open mouthed kisses, “you’d hate each other’s guts by the end of it. You shouldn’t do that to yourself.”

“I’m not that cruel, at least, I hope I’m not, I’m not obsessed the way everyone else is,” Koushi’s nails peeled across his midriff, skin tearing with them, tingling the deeper they buried themselves in, the further Tobio shrunk against his chest, “I’d still love you. Don’t you think that’s better? You’ll never get me to hate you.” 

“And you really are so troublesome, Tobio,” his finger drew circles at the ridge beneath his cock, pressing in hard and earning himself a sharp and unmistakable moan that shot straight to his own erection, “You always use that for yourself.” 

“You should know better than anyone, right? Why you should be more grateful?”

Frigid silence. Koushi could hear him work his words through the fog slothing in his head. In the attempts to pull away, the flinch when his nail dug harder, too hard in. Tobio wasn’t good with words. It was unfortunate, that he took it as an insult and not the compliment his comparaison referred to. 

Because he loved him, he loved him, he loved him. His head hurt with it. It was pathetic how much he did. It was pathetic to fall for someone so hard and fast like that. Especially from him. And Tobio was just as pathetic as he was, right? So easy to read beneath all that snarling and barking, so _needy,_ _so afraid_. From the moment he stepped into that gym, there had been no mistaking who he was. He’d taken to his guidance so fast, as a lovesick kitten would. Caring for him was as easy as breathing. Wasn’t this a sign? Tobio needed to understand. He needed to understand. Koushi giggled, not missing the shiver and shaky heaving running through the body against him.

“Tobio…” 

His breaths came in hard, as did his hips when he drove them against Tobio’s hands, frantically dry fucking himself on them.

“You wouldn’t lose someone like me.” 

They were calloused fingers, rough, bony, long and graceful in their sets but kinder if they clung to him, touched him all over, reached out for him, buried themselves in him. Given the pool of red hot want already dripping within him, probably dripping out of him, they were nothing like the fantasies he jacked himself off to in late nights. They were better. This was so much better. His skin tingled with it, pleasure sprawling across his chest and thighs.

Though not quite perfect yet. 

_“Tobio…”_

He buried his nose into the crook of his neck, nuzzling into it, pressing a kiss into the junction. 

Then he let canines sink into warm flesh.

Despite the sedative at work, a violent shudder knocked itself onto him, as Tobio’s taller body rebelled and wrestled against his touch. There were nails scratching at his inner thighs, grasping for anything, yanking at the sheets, his cock. His fangs only bit in deeper, _harder,_ legs spasming, voice groaning into the small crunch and cracks of it _,_ angry red gashes tearing after him. It wasn’t as hard as he expected it to be. He was not an animal, it took a little effort to dig in, to nick and tug and bruise at the skin until it ripped, but Koushi wasn’t anything if not patient. Eyes shut for a moment, the first hints of metal slipped onto his tongue, hot and heavy. The flies in his head were hissing, decaying, hungry. Starving after the boy snug against him and it wasn’t close enough, _he wasn’t close enough he needed all of him_.

His teeth kneaded harshly into Tobio’s skin with each ugly dent he gifted it with, dark rivulets running against his mouth and further below, shirt growing a bit wet. Koushi licked at the wounds as an overexcited puppy would, drinking in its thick copper tang, its heat, its aroma, and the stuttering breaths Tobio took with him, for him, because of him. It didn’t sound like he could speak, half-words snuffed out the harder Koushi bit and sucked on tender shoulder joints, and that was just well. He didn’t need to focus on anything else but his care and affection. It thrilled him, and he was sure Tobio could feel it clash with the pain and make it all worth it. 

A soft mewl broke out in confirmation, a weak attempting at pleading, maybe even pleading to stop, for help. His thoughts fell further into the fog, scrambled and aching.

“Are you enjoying this?” he mumbled between bites, fisting at him and picking a frenzied pace at the slick shaft in his hand, precum beading at the tip of his fingers, dampening his own pants, “You’re soaking onto me so easily. Do you want more?”

He leaned into his ear, swallowing blood, “Cumming for me already?”

By now Tobio was puddy in his hands, almost arching up but too clumsy to hold any real rhythm, too weak to do anything but make sad little gasps with glassy blown eyes. Too much? He laughed inwardly. The claws and fangs prying into his skin were nothing, right? For someone so fierce to melt into his grasp like this… it was sickening, erotic.

He drew his hand away right as a sharp inhale swept in.

Koushi watched as a single, dry, frustrated sob came out of his mouth, the latter pulling into an especially adorable pout. A sticky thumb rose upon Tobio’s bottom lip, timid whimpers ghosting across his fingertip.

He grinned lazily, ignoring his own urge to climax.

“Vulgar. Look at you,” he pecked his cheek, slowly stroking his thigh from behind, “so sensitive and sweet around me.”

Koushi’s lips left a faint red trace on his skin, not unlike lipstick. Tobio sniffled, eyes swimming with unshed tears while his hips twitched, trying and failing to reach his touch. His heart swelled in pride. 

Curiously, that didn’t seem to be a welcome sentiment.

“You’re,,, you’re _sick_ ,” Tobio managed to slur, face pinching and falling in effort to not go under.

The fog grew oppressive. Laughter tumbled out of his mouth, quiet and distant.

“No,” he heard, “no, no, no. You’ve got it wrong.”

He squeezed Tobio, kissing at the corner of his shoulder. There was a wince.

“You make me happy,” he murmured, wiping his mouth off with the sleeve of his shirt, “and I want to make you happy too.”  
  
“And I’ve gotten you so hot and wet down there, I just wonder,” his head tilted slightly, a single digit coming to graze at a throbbing, red cock, “if you even hate this at all?”

There rolled a shiver down his spine. A sucked in breath. A clenched jaw. Then slack, body sinking back into murky waters. What a lovely partner he was, when his reactions were so genuine. Koushi shifted on his knees, drawing both hands up his elbows and rubbing circles in with his thumbs. A pulse raced against his fingertips while he gently pushed Tobio’s body forward, bringing him down on his stomach until Koushi encased him from above, a shadow.

“You feel good when I’m here, don’t you? I can correct this, if you aren’t.”

_“No.”_

He sounded so innocent like this, rough edges softened into a boyish quiver. 

Koushi chuckled, fingers tightening.

“You’re still so young and precious, it’s fine to be a bit stubborn around me,” he said, ignoring the body fidgeting underneath him, rutting against the sheets, rubbing against him, begging to be filled up by every possible piece of him. And God did he want to. If only to pry more cute faces out of him.

Hollow eyes rose through mussed up hair. Then down when they found Koushi staring back.

He bent down to meet his gaze, shirt grazing at Tobio’s back.

“You don’t have to be shy around me again, alright? You don’t even have to say sorry,” a hand fell away, gliding across the sheets without a noise until it wrapped itself around a pommel, “Just play nice and I’ll be gentle with you for your first time, okay?”

He felt back muscles shift beneath him, rolling together then apart under olive skin. A cursory glance found it unmarred, smooth, the tug of a mole sitting on Tobio’s shoulder blade, then two others close to each other, barely concealed by a crumpled shirt resting at the small of his back. A hardly noticeable twitch skipped through it, maybe from pain, or the metal edging along the feverish sheen covering it. He brushed Tobio’s hair as he did so, soothing, twirling messy locks between his fingers.

“Nothing scary about you like this,” he mused, wide eyes eating at the trembles and sighs taking over Tobio.

“Can’t even do anything,” the tip pressed in harder, obsidian snaking into skin lightly. Cuffs clicked, elbows bended against his waist. Panting, heavy and clouded over. The bed creaking ever so slightly. The heart ringing in his ears. The salty taste of skin still on his tongue. It was new, it was familiar, and it was more than what he dreamed of.

The knife caved in, velvet oozing at the edge before slithering across it.

“Suga- _ah!_ ”

His fingers curled tight, tipping Tobio’s head back with a whine.

_Ah, he feels much smaller like this._

His vision swam between Tobio’s crestfallen face and the dagger melting into his back like butter, cut sweeping down into a deep, red arc. Nobody’s ever seen him like this. There was no doubt behind that. These memories would be his to keep. Koushi drove the tip of the knife further in, twisting it while Tobio’s expression screwed into itself, lips parting with shaking exhales.

“P-please-”

“Hm? You like,” he prodded beneath tender skin, “this?”

Whatever answer Tobio had in mind was drowned into a delightfully pretty sob.

Tobio didn’t make it a habit of flaunting himself out to others. Not consciously, at least. Not in a way that anyone normal would see anything past rude, rather than desperate and starving. So it was a treasure to watch him whimper and yelp on instinct, thoughts molded by whatever Koushi wanted him to be. He wanted to hear him make more sweet little noises. For him.

For that, he rewarded him with another stroke, not pausing, this time pressing the length of the blade across the first wound, dragging it down slowly, achingly slowly, from shoulder blade to shoulder blade. The skin beneath it split open with ease, deeper and blooming. HIs fingers shook with Tobio’s and it took a certain effort to keep them from disrupting his work, heart stuttering at the thought of what he was doing. The stench of musk and copper hung heavily in the air. He breathed it in, licking his lips, tasting sex and violence and only the most devoted of affections, grin growing positively unhinged while the cross branded itself into Tobio’s spiralling cries. Holy. Tobio. Monster. Holy. His.

He wanted to write his name into his skin. He wanted to write Tobio’s. He could give him so much more than just little cuts, but he couldn’t risk others walking themselves into this secret of theirs.

Still, he found himself being greedy.

“You still love me, don’t you?”

“Even now, I know you still do,” the knife slashed, pointedly, curving around the meeting point of his first cuts, “After this, there’s no way we can just go back to normal. Well, at the very least, I can’t stay away from you anymore.”

Normal. Was that even a thing? With someone like Tobio? He didn’t suppose Tobio knew what love was. Not after observing him for so long. 

That wasn’t normal.

The way he was panting, heaving so erratically, dry heaving with his chin tucked in, however. That felt normal. That felt right. 

“I… I could train you.”

  
  
“You still trust me, right?”

He twisted the dagger, snapping it forward until it curved from the other side. Then another followed, And another. And another. Tobio was choking on his breath by now, and Koushi swore he could hear his heartbeat jump into his eyes. Yeah, he should teach him a lot of things. Maybe everything.

“No, no, I don’t- ah! S-stop, Ko-” he coughed, almost gagging.

He pressed his lips and snapped Tobio’s head almost backwards. 

_“Say it.”_

A whimper came up. He pressed the dagger in, lodging it further below. 

The whine morphed into a near howl.

“No, no nonon _on-oooo-”_

“I can’t be gentle if you keep being too stubborn, Tobio.”

The resulting wail rang like music to his ears.

Tobio’s eyes screwed shut. He wished he could pry them open. Even if filled with hatred...

_Look at me. Look at m e ._

“Ngh no _no_ . Don’t, _don’t- a-aaah!_ ” 

_“K-Koushi, Koushi t-teach- hah, love me please!”_

His voice came out stammering, nearly drowned out by the tremors of what was sure to be white hot pain running through it, but the effects still came in clear as glass. His breath caught in his throat and he immediately dropped the dagger and his grip on Tobio, cotton rushing in to fill his head with softness. He stared blankly at the celtic knot wrapped lovingly around the cross section between cuts. Pretty. It was all really pretty to look at. Tobio would feel it every time he moved, every time he thought of him, every time he even considered the idea of being with anyone other than him.

“Good boy.”

He dug his nails into it. 

A sharp gasp came through his ears, muffled. Through the messy strands falling over his eyes, he could see his eyes blow wide in horror, his tears, clear and threatening to flood his cheeks and jaw and sheets, and his body twitching with his every touch. In any other context, he’d feel guilty. If someone had teased Tobio to tears, he’d even feel a little mean. 

The blood felt warm at his fingertips, coiling almost like honey around them. 

He used his cleaner hand to unzip his trousers, the sight alone too much to bear any waiting for. 

Tobio felt rough and tender beneath his hand, glistening fingers trailing down the head of the cross, then the small of his back, then further below, hooking around his already loose waistband and finally tugging it off completely. He spat a generous amount of saliva onto his fingertips, rubbing it against each other. Tobio seemed to curl onto himself then, as if almost trying to shift away from Koushi. Almost.

He pushed his own boxers down, coming down to brush at the side of his hair next, “It’s not very bright to go out and doubt your upperclassman’s care, Tobio. You wouldn’t think of doing that, would you?”

There was a soft hiccup, weepy eyes staring up in dread, in plea. Koushi kissed his cheek in response, wiping at his tears with his mouth while his own shirt was getting soaked against Tobio’s back.

“I’m here for you,” he mouthed against his jaw, “I’d do anything for you. Be an angel for me and stay.”

Tobio’s warmth breath fanned against his cheek, shaky yet faint.

“W-why...”

He flashed him a dreamy smile, “Don’t make me choke you on it.”

Tobio’s lips trembled, expression falling into childlike fear. 

Koushi wanted to tell him it’d all be okay, that nothing horrible would happen with him around, that he would indeed be gentle, but there wasn’t much to say when confronted with the sight of such a docile and pliant Tobio. So he let his slick fingers splay it out for him, spitting onto them once more for good measure, before flitting them around his entrance teasingly and dipping in fully.

Immediately, his index and major were met with tight hot walls clenching around them, a small shuddering gasp following not long after. Tobio fidgeted beneath him, expression fighting between humiliation and sleepy confusion before pressing onto the covers. Koushi watched with rapt attention and heated cheeks, leaning forward, sinking, spreading, and curling his digits in tandem with Tobio’s breaths coming, going, pausing, hitching, trembling.

Submission was such a good look on him.

Wasting no time, Koushi pushed through and thumbed at a rough patch in his quivering hole and a hiss tumbled out of Tobio’s mouth, the fumbled slip and smack of his hips jerking up clear across the room.

“Oh? Hardly anything, and already making a fuss now, are we?” he said, making it a point to rub his fingers further in, “slutty _virgin._ ”

Whatever scowl Tobio intended to throw back petered under Koushi’s hand, falling into a tiny throaty moan that went straight to his own dick. Koushi cooed at the reaction. If he hadn’t been so on edge already, he might have taken the liberty to further stretch him out, considering how Tobio took to it.

“Lewd,” he snickered, his own thighs growing moist with leaking.

The soft wet click of his fingers wafted in with Tobio’s sighs, the rustle of the sheets, and the nearly painful heat quivering in his guts, at the base of his cock. His lips found Tobio’s for that, kiss brief before pausing, then settling for another. Then another. And another. Until he was peppering Tobio with them, from forehead to chin, grateful and tender and impatient as he drew his fingers back with a sticky _pop_. Tobio, through the haze, only balked at them. Then Koushi withdrew himself. His gaze fell still, before rippling, body suddenly twitching like a worm trying to skirt along the scavenger crow at its doorstep. He bit back the urge to laugh and cocked his head to the side.

“That eager, Tobio?” Tobio froze, hair tumbling over wide eyes. 

Koushi cooed at that, “You’re such a treat like this,” he squeezed at his hips, drawing them closer to himself, “It’s no wonder people hate your guts so much, you’re way cuter when you’re scared.” 

Something seemed to well up through Tobio then, catching at his throat as what he supposed was either a wish or a curse. 

“P-please…”

His heart softened, “Oh, Tobio. You’re perfect like this, don’t worry.” 

“Nobody else is going to come for you, I promise.”

That seemed to strike the last rebellious nerve fighting in him. Tobio swelled against the waters dragging him down, pushed against his bounds, if only for the terror-filled heartbeat between his cry and the sudden arms thrown tight around his shoulders and chest. Koushi sighed, whimpered into his neck, careful control finally ebbing away while he nestled himself as deep as possible within Tobio in one hard thrust. 

The motion took some pushing, the pulse of his shaft going against the stretch of a warm, welcoming hole. Tingles sprawled across his skin with it, fluttering like butterflies in his head. There was a stifled grunt from Tobio, his body ran by goosebumps every time Koushi so much as twitched against him. He snuggled against the space between Tobio’s shoulder blades, pressing his cheek against the still bleeding cuts, little puffs of air escaping his lips while his hips rose up against his ass.

“You’re taking me so well, Tobio. You feel so good now, I can’t…”

“Can’t stand it,” his head slumped forward, muffling his moan against the tender bite marks he left earlier.

He really should praise him more. But the newness of this was as effective on him as it was on Tobio, and he couldn’t help sinking into it, closing his eyes and sucking up all of the wet heat for his own frozen self. His thighs spread further against Tobio’s, every point of contact between their bodies sending sparks to his nerves. 

The drag of his cock was a wet wound that accompanied the dry rasp of skin against skin. It was obscene and he reveled in it, despite the shy pace he took to it. Cold little sparks of pleasure spread down his legs over to the tip of his toes, a slow buzz that he rocked into, and beat after beat, his breaths came in a bit shorter, a bit louder, than before.

There was a heartbeat thumping against his fingertips, thrumming wildly along with the rise and fall of Tobio’s chest. It hitched with Koushi’s thrust, and he pretended to hear it through his own.

They must have made quite the pair for the cameras. His pale and colourless frame painted like a canvas by the bleeding heart beneath him. The thought coloured him happy. 

A soft whine cut through that line of thinking, and his eyes fluttered open. Through the blur of bliss trickling through him, Tobio’s flushed cheeks and reddened lips came into view, mouth barely wobbling with hoarse, inaudible words.

Koushi’s grip tightened for a moment, before he suddenly gave in to one harsh thrust after another. 

Friction hot, Tobio’s eyes flew wide open, _“hurts”_ and _“faster”_ speeding past his mouth in a faint but at least clearer moan. Koushi acquiesced to the second plea with a satisfied hum, rising up to plant the heel of his hands on each side of Tobio’s shoulder blades and roll his hips in.

Heat swelled through his cheeks as he moved with more demand to it, each drag and pump more slick and wet than the next. His shirt stuck longer against his skin, and dots of sweat began to appear on his forehead, just as Tobio’s eyes were growing shiny with those lovely tears again. He let his head swing down, panting, holding on tight with his nails, and any locks of hair that hadn’t already flown into disarray were now catching into his eyelashes, half obscuring his view. 

“Mm, Tobio, _Tobio…_ ”

“Tobio-kun looks so cute like this-”

Goosebumps ran through his skin when a particularly throaty groan made its way back to him. He answered in kind, purring a delighted sigh while grinding his cock deep against Tobio’s insides. Dark, swirling eyes wrenched shut, tear tracks forming with them. A broken sob fell away, trembling with a weak “hurry up.”

Biting his lip, he pitched forward, alternating between hard fucking and dragged out swaying, chasing after the friction, that white hot build-up gathering at his cock. His nails scratched down at Tobio’s back, tugging harder as the feeling grew into a fever pitch and musk wafted around him and his frantic gasps. 

He was rewarded with nothing short of walking on air: Tobio openly crying, hair mussed up onto his flushed skin, mouth open to choked desperate gasps and hiccuping while tears rolled down his cheek in rivers. Hips twitching up into his dick without any sense of control, he couldn’t seem to catch his breath, cum suddenly splattering in ropes all over the sheets beneath his body. Koushi would spring into a giggle if he could, committing every cry and mewl into his memory. Instead, he just swore and moaned into Tobio’s orgasm, riding him with full abandon until his own climax pooled in his belly and lapsed all over his limbs.

_It felt good._ Against the fog swimming in his head, the pleasure was clear, sensation pulsing down to his trembling knees with each pump. He threw himself back, grabbing for Tobio’s trembling thighs while he fucked himself up and slammed into his hole, delirious with wrecking him, letting his body take control.

_It felt good._ More than the bliss of the moment, it felt good to squeeze Tobio against him, good to press his body against Tobio’s warmth, good to taste Tobio, good to smell Tobio, good to finally stop thinking, good to fully give himself up to something beyond the bleak greyness awaiting him. It felt like a weight was lifting off his shoulders at last, and it was dizzying. Tobio was here, steady, _Tobio was here for him_.

And he’ll be here for him too, forever. 

At that thought, his heart settled. After a beat, he slowed down the pace, giving his lungs time to catch up while he steadied himself into a more gentle rocking. His limbs uncoiled from the vice tension holding them up, relaxing into the afterglow, and like a puppet cut from its strings, Koushi exhaled, then slumped down, drawing himself out of Tobio’s entrance with a slick _pop_. Pale cum trickled out of it in small, sticky, satisfying rivulets. With a huff, his knees buckled, soft blankets welcoming them back, head soon following after them. 

Tobio’s trembling hardly slowed down, however. Neither did the sobbing, the room silent save for it. The cuts must have overwhelmed his poor boy. Koushi reached out, clumsily latching one hand onto the sleeve drawn past Tobio’s shoulder, tugging his own body closer against him again, until they were both at eye level.

“Tobio, Tobio,” he murmured, still breathing hard. 

Eyes trailed into nothing, blown wide.

Koushi drew his hand back up, cupping Tobio’s cheek with it. 

“Follow my voice, Tobio.”

A sharp twitch stuck against his palm while Tobio rose his head up, gaze never losing their intensity despite the fright clouding his expression.

Amidst the strange calm washing over him in the moment, he could almost see the outline of guilt forming in the back of his mind, gently prodding. 

_Tobio looks a little sick, doesn’t he? He’s clearly turning pale._

His skin was indeed pasty, drool slipping past the corner of his lips.

_He’s not gonna throw up, isn’t he?_

Drugs could very well cause nausea when its user was overwhelmed.

_I should lower the dosage then, no?_

Something seemed to stick in Tobio’s throat then, and in the following dead silence, all he could hear was his own pounding heartbeat.

Like this, Tobio almost looked-

_I’ll take better care of him next time._

Koushi’s breath mingled with his.

Almost robotically, he said, “I’m proud of you.”

Like this, Tobio almost looked like a puppy, really. Lost and needy with his wide, teary eyes and quivering lips. His thumb ran fond circles against his jaw.

“You did so well there,” Koushi brushed his lips against his, “It’s alright now, you’re safe.”

“And you’re still alive, aren’t you?” a finger found itself propped beneath his chin, tipping it up, “I promised you’d be okay, hm? Isn’t that it, Tobio?”

A hiccup came back to him, Adam apple bobbing against his knuckles. But there was now a distinct struggle for Tobio to catch his breath, heaving adjusting into a less panicked rhythm. His irises almost seemed to pulse with his breaths.

Koushi gave him a small smile, warmth still tingling pleasantly beneath his skin when he planted a kiss at the tip of his nose and brought Tobio’s head to rest against his shoulder, careful to not startle him.

“Listen to my heartbeat,” he murmured into his hair, “count your breaths with it.” 

They spent the next few minutes like this, Koushi curled up and shushing Tobio in the softest tone he could muster, while the latter tucked himself against his chest, inhales and exhales dancing to their own unsteady tune. It was a comfortable silence. Mindless. You might have not even noticed the noiseless slip of a shadow in the corner of your eye, where a door used to stand still.

He didn’t pay any heed to its call. Rather, he toyed with the objects still lying around the room, specifically picturing the empty little vials lying in their respective drawers. The drying blood wrapped around them. The possibilities within them.

Koushi didn’t move, but he was not tired. There was a fog in his mind, but it didn't weigh on him like a blanket. It poured over him like balm, relieving him of all the tension that’s crept up since the start of his… fixation.

For now, at least. 

He could get used to it. 

Koushi, somewhat reluctant to end any of this, murmured against black hair, “I hope you dream of this.”

Tobio’s grip tightened on him. He nuzzled in further, always a bleeding heart for his kouhai.

“I’ll always dream about you.”

**Author's Note:**

> catboys with aesthetically pleasing wounds on their back for 2021 please


End file.
